Bad day, feeling depressed

Emotions really can kill you. Too much anger in the air; too much shouting; too many hurtful words. I wonder why this has to be part of my day? Words could be good if used in a good way; I cannot understand why words are used to hurt other people. It makes me feel so heavy and hurt inside. I cannot stop it. I cannot prevent it. Sometimes I wish I were not around to hear the hurtful words, to be far away in some isolated place to be left alone to my thoughts. To wish to die would be too much but maybe it is a fate worse than death to be subjected to such abusive words.

I do not feel like working at all. I do not feel like doing anything .I just want to curl up and sleep. Maybe tomorrow will be a brighter day. Maybe the birds will be chirping merrily. There is so much to be happy for and yet there is anger in my house. There is unhapppiness. I just want to be left in peace. I just want to be happy. My footprint is very small and yet it is constantly disturbed.

What to do? I remember when I was younger when my own mind would be constsantly in turmoil. Did I cause so much suffering and pain to my parents? Did I disappoint them in any way? I think it is not easy being a human being. There are just too many expectations and there is really no one that you can rely on to mqke you happy. Every one is thinking of his own personal happiness and whatever it is that can make him happy. No one really gives a damn about other people's feelings. I do not know how long I will last living like this. It is so bad and I am not as resilient as I used to be.

This has been a bad, bad day. I hope tomorrow will be better.